Bunmi, a typical Nigerian babe who is almost 32 years of age, explains why she abandoned her husband-to-be at the altar in November, 2015.
She explains the travails and persecutions she faced from her family following her decision to leave her fiancé hanging and dry.
Bunmi, who decided to take to her twitter handle, explained why she needed closure and peace within herself because she was litrerally entering into a commitment that could cost her her happiness. This is what she had to say,@bunmi_bum_bum:
“I left my man at the altar and now both his family and part of mine hate me – a thread…,” she began in a comment posted on Friday, May 12, 2017.
“It was a Saturday in November 2015. It was supposed to be my wedding day. But I was still unsure. I’d been pressured to say Yes. I was sad.
Everyone was like: “You’re over 30; he’s okay, has a good job. What is your problem? Just go through with it!” My problem? I wasn’t happy!
He’d never hit me, but I just didn’t like him like that. I asked for time. Everyone said: “No! You agreed, you must go through with it!”
That morning, I was crying. My mother said it’s normal. I couldn’t accept that. I felt like I was being sent to a cage. I wasn’t happy!
All the fear and anxiety gave me running stomach. I locked myself in the bathroom. One hour; going on two. They said they’ll break the door.
11AM and we still hadn’t left the house for 10AM wedding. My dad asked me: Is there somebody else? I said no. He said: You want to shame us.
I lied then that I loved somebody else. There was nobody but I thought that would make them agree to cancel the wedding. They still refused.
By 11:30AM they were trying to force me into the car. My Dad’s elder sister, who had come from UK for the wedding, said: “Leave her alone!”
She said I had a right to change my mind. If I didn’t want to go through with it, then I shouldn’t. Still, some family members insulted me.
My Dad said I should leave his house. His sister said the house wasn’t his but their late father’s (my granddad). A big quarrel broke out.
My Dad now said I was the one to call my husband-to-be to tell him I’d changed my mind. I agreed. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Of course they were already in church. He didn’t wait for me to finish speaking. He cut the call. I couldn’t stop crying.
I’ve tried to explain that I wasn’t happy, but everybody still blames me. Some in my own family no longer speak to me. I keep to myself. End”
This is the pitiable story of Bunmi, who in her family’s bid to beat her biological clock brought cataclysmic shame to an impeccable institution – Marriage.
It is very important to understand that marriage is a union between two physically, emotionally, and in some case spiritually mature man and woman.
In a largely patriarchal society as our, it is important that we protect and promulgate the right of the girl child to make life decisions when she is of age to do so; especially when it pertains to issues of marriage.
Women are not objects you pick up on the social shelve to make an exhaustive list of items in your house. They therefore have a choice when it comes to settling down and the kind of spouse they like.
This goes out to all the ladies: Yes, marriage is good; however, we should not allow societal and cultural suasions to compel us to make grave decisions that will cost you not only your happiness, but sometimes your life.
Like a great philosopher once said, “to thine own self be true”.
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